00097《外贸英语写作》串讲资料5

第三讲  写作技巧与语言技能

一、复习建议

外贸英语写作技巧与语言技能在考试中，占有举足轻重的重要，因为它直接决定了商务英语应用文写作的成败，建议学员全面掌握、多加练习，考试时在撰写商务应用文时做到胸有成竹。从题型来讲，主要出现在外贸英语写作考试的最后一个部分。

二、本章重要知识点

1.       句子的有效性（Effectiveness of Sentences)

2.       商务英语写作的语言技巧（Skills of Language）

三、知识点讲解

（一）句子的有效性（Effectiveness of Sentences)

1、删除重复的词语和词缀

1）Our reserves of oil are becoming smaller and smaller.
修改后：Our reserves of oil are shrinking.

我们的石油储备在减少。

2）In addition, we are also including a current price list.
修改后：In addition, we are including a current price list.

此外，我们附上一份现行价目表。

3）The auditors usually arrive unexpectedly, but we'll be prepared no matter when the auditors arrive.
修改后：The auditors usually arrive unexpectedly, but we'll be prepared no matter when they arrive.
审计员通常出人意料地到来，但我们不管他们什么时候。

2、删除那些解释明白无误事实的词语

●In the color of blue　可以简化为in blue
●in the year of 1995　可以简化为in 1995
●In the introduction at the beginning introduction　导言都是在书的开头的，因此at the beginning 可删去。

3、删除毫无内容的累赘词语

1）The more you buy, the result is that as far as money is concerned the more you spend.
修改后：The more you buy, the more you spend.

你买得越多就花钱越多。
（在这个句型中，第二部分就是表示结果，因此没有必要说the result is that。另外，spend暗含的意思就是“花钱”，所以不必要说as far as money is concerned。）　

2）In the event that you can attend the meeting, plan in advance to offer some concrete suggestions on how to reduce the cost and expense of overtime in the Office Services Department.
（在这个句子中有很多冗长的短语可以用更简短的词来表达，如：in the event that=if; plan in advance “plan” 本来就是指事先计划，因此in advance（事先、预先）是多余的。 Cost and expense 在本句中是同义词，只用其一就够了。）
修改后：If you can attend the meeting, plan to offer suggestions on how to reduce overtime expense in the Office Services Department.

如果你能参加会议，请计划提出如何削减办公室服务部开支的建议。

4、将从句压缩成短语，短语压缩成单词

1）  The report that discussed the fiscal crisis was read by businessmen, who showed great interest.
修改后：The report on the financial crisis was read with interest by businessmen.

商人们兴趣盎然地阅读了那份关于财政危机的报告。
（你可以看出来，修改后的句子是用一个介词短语on the fiscal crisis 来代替原句中的定语从句 that discussed the financial crisis，从而省略了一个词。）

2）  The employee with ambition is in all probability likely to get results that are good.
修改后：The ambitious employee is likely to get good results.

胸怀大志的雇员有可能获得好成绩。
（原句中的with ambition 被缩写成一个形容词ambitious，另外，in all probability 跟likely的意思一样，因此可以省略。）

3）  The memo that was written by Mary got lost.
修改后：The memo by Mary got lost.

玛丽写的备忘录丢了。
  The memo written by Mary got lost.

5、将定语从句改为前置定语（前置形容词）

1）  This amount, which is considered to be insignificant, should be written off as a bad debt.
修改后：This insignificant amount should be written off as a bad debt.

这笔微不足道的金额应该作为坏账报废。

2）  Less than half the merchandise that was damaged could be sold.
修改后：Less than half the damaged merchandise was salable.

损坏的货物中不到一半可以出售。

3）  The workers who produce the most will receive bonuses.
修改后：The most productive workers will receive bonuses.

生产效率最高的会得到奖金。

6、用简单句不用复杂句

A world that is rapidly changing requires education that continues.
修改后：A rapidly changing world requires continuing education.

急遽变化的世界需要人们接受继续教育。

1）  A business that is local is one that depends upon customers who are steady.
修改后：A local business depends on steady customers.

地区性商业依赖固定的顾客。

2）  Communication is, of course, of vital importance to any business that wants to achieve efficiency.
修改后：Communication is vital to business efficiency.

通讯对于商业效率是至关重要的。

7、句子的连贯性

尽管英语的句子的长度没有明确的限度，但一条原则必须坚持，那就是：一个句子要表达一个中心思想。无关的思想在句子中出现或是句子表达的思想冗长而杂乱，都会使句子失去连贯性。这类错误的修改需要从两方面来考察：首先检查连词使用是否正确，错误的连词会使句子失去连贯性；其次检查句意是否杂乱无章、层次不清，若是，则需要将句子重新改写，必要时可改写成几句话。

(1)    It is easy for you to do your Christmas shopping, and we offer three unique catalogs.

（修改前：前后分句之间没有多大的联系，看后让人莫名其妙。）

Because we offer three unique catalogs, it is easy for you to do your Christmas shopping.

（修改后：加上连词because，使前后句的因果关系很分明）

因为我们提供了三份独特的商品目录；您现在进行圣诞采购就方便多了。

(2)    I certainly appreciate the time you spent with me in our interview last week, and I am enrolling in a computer science course this summer.

（修改前：读者很难发现后句中所说的事与前一句有何直接联系。）

Certainly appreciate the time you spent with me last week. Be-cause of our interview, I am enrolling in a computer science course this summer.

（修改后：首先分成两个句子，然后在第二句句首加上because of our interview，使两个句子间关系非常清楚。）

非常感谢上周您抽出宝贵的时间与我面谈。正由于此，我正在报今夏的一门电脑课程。

8、使用平行结构

在讲句子的衔接时，我们提到过并列的词或短语要使用平行结构。这里是这种平行结构的延伸，也就是说，表达几种类似的思想或事情时都应使用动词、名词、形容词、-ing 形式或从句，尽量避免交叉使用。

(1)    Steel filing cabinets are best for durability, ease of cleaning, and they resist fire better.

（修改前：文件柜的三个特点，前两个用的是短语，第三个却用了从句。）

Steel filing cabinets are best for durability, ease of cleaning, and fire resistance.

（修改后：全部采用了名词平行结构）

钢制文件柜最具耐用性，最易清洗，防火性能最好。

9、避免修饰语错位

修饰语一般要和被修饰的词、短语或分句紧跟在一起。如果修饰语放在了别的词、短语或分句的后面，也就是说，修饰了不该修饰的词、短语或分句，那就是修饰语错位了。这类错误的修改要求首先明确句中各个词、短语或分句所作的成分及所修饰的对象，然后将修饰语和被修饰对象放在一起。

(1)    The recommendation to delay action by the board was approved.

（从句中可看出，斜体部分不是修饰action，而是修饰recommendation的。）

修改后：

The recommendation by the board to delay action was approved.

董事会提出的延缓行动的建议获得了通过。

（二）商务英语写作的语言技巧（Skills of Language）

1.比较

运用比较的语言手法，可使读者清楚地了解所描述对象的特点。常用的语言表现形式有：

1）等比：指同等事物之间的无差别比较。常用的短语有：as…as, the same as, as much of, identical with（与……完全相同），similar to 等。

(l)Our competitor produces as many models as we do.

我们竞争对手和我们生产的产品一样多。

(2)I agree with you as much as Mr. Robert.

我和罗伯特先生一样同意你的观点。

(3)Our product is identical in specifications with the Japanese make.

我们的产品在规格方面与日本货完全一样。

(4)lt was as much of a success as I had hoped.

这次成功跟我所希望的一样。

2）比较级和最高级

所谓比较级和最高级（comparative and superlative degrees）是指；同事物力之间的有差别比较，即被比较的事物之间是有大小、多少和优劣等之分的。用于这种比较的语言形式和短语有：better, less; the best, the least; -er, the –est; more, less; the most, the least和the…，出e…等。请看下面的例子：

(1)     The quality of our products is much better than that of competing ones.

我们产品的质量要比竞争对手产品的质量强得多。

(2)     This is the most competive market in the whole world.

这是世界上竞争最激烈的市场。

(3)     The bigger the project, the higher the cost.

项目越大，成本越高。

2、因果关系

因果关系的语言手法常用于有关问题或事故的分析性商务英语报告中。

1）经常用于表示原因的短语有：because of, owing to, due to, be caused by, result from, be attributed to等

The failure of the suggestion scheme is due to the low reward.

建议失败的原因是太低的奖励。

2）用于表示结果的短语有：lead to ,cause, result in

The American measures led to immediate reaction from the world.

美国的措施引起了世界的迅即反应。

3、条件

商务活动中，需要分析各种不同的条件以便作出相应的决策。表示条件基本句型有：

1）表示普遍情况（Simple Present +Simple Present）

If the new recruiters work more than four hours overtime e they receive overtime payments.

如果新雇员加班超过四个小时以上，他们获取加班费。

2）表示可能的情况（Simple Present +will form）

If he has time, he will come.如果有时间他是会来的。

1），2）属于真实条件句，即假设的情况有可能发生，当然第1）种情况发生的可能性更大。

3）表示假设的情况（Simple Past+ Would form）

If he were here, everything would be all right.

要是他在这儿，一切都没问题了

4）表示过去的假设情况（Past Perfect+ Would have done）

If you had put on more clothes, you wouldn’t have caught cold.

要是多穿点衣服你就不会着凉了。

3），4）属于虚拟条件句，即纯然假设的情况或者发生的可能性不大的情况。

4.对比

如果要在前后两个句子或一个句子的前后两部分表达不同或相反的意思可采用对比的语言手法。表示对比的词和短语有：however（用来对比相反的情况，意思是“然而，但是”），while/whereas（用来对比相同的情况）和although/even though（意思是“即使，尽管”，但后者比前者语气更重）

1)      Turnover increased. However, profitability fell.

营业额上升了，但是利润率却下降了.

2)      It would be difficult to ventilate Site B, while/whereas the exterior position of Site A would improve ventilation.

B场地很难通风，而A场地的外部位置则会改善通风的状况。

5、举例

举例的写作方法能使抽象的描述具体化，内容更加清楚明白。常用的词和短语有：for example, for instance ,such as ,like.

There are jobs more dangerous than truck driving, for instance, training animals.

Training animals/more dangerous than/for instance/jobs/truck driving/there are/

（注意）such as 的用法：

They export a lot of fruit, such as organs, lemons, etc.

他们出口很多水果，比如橘子，柠檬等等。

His sculptures should be kept in such a place as an art gallery or museum.

他的雕塑作品应放在美术馆或博物馆。

6、先后顺序关系

这种叙事方法常用于叙述经过、种类、措施等。用来描述这种关系的词和短语主要包括：first, secondly, last, before, after, another, next, then, afterwards, later on

也可用基数词one, two, three和阿拉伯数字1,2,3等。在使用此类词时应前后一致，即one, two, three或first, second, third如果混在一起（one, second…）就不对了。

7、表示同类关系

常常用来表达这种关系的词非常之多，但最常用的有：and, also, as well, as well as, moreover, furthermore, in addition, in addition to, besides, similarly等。现举例如下：

(1)We agreed on the terms of payment in today’s negotiation. Besides that, we also discussed other terms but more negotiations are still required before coming to an agreement on them.

在今天的谈判中，我们就支付条款取得了一致意见。除此外，我们还讨论了其他条款，但需进行更多的谈判才能达成协议。

(2)The house is not big enough for us, and furthermore, it is too far away from the town.

该房子不够大，另外离城里也太远。

8、总结概括

在商务英语写作中，我们常常需要对一件事情、一个段落或一份文件的内容作出总结或概括( summarizing)。这样，作者所述的事情就十分清楚，读者也不会抓不住要点。常用来表达总结归纳的词和短语主要有 : in short, in brief, in a word, in summary, in conclusion, briefly, to summarize, to sum up和to conclude等。现举例如下：

(1)In summary, the art in a language lesson lies in remembering that language belongs to people.

概括起来说，语言课的艺术就在于牢牢记住语言属于大众。

(2)The troubled enterprise, in short, must be reformed and reorganized for a turnaround.

简言之，遇到麻烦的企业可以通过改革和调整来扭转局面。